Asking For a Friend unites four artists over the age of fifty: Lydia Viscardi, Silvana Soriano, Heidi Hankaniemi, and Joan Wheeler. The exhibition borrows from the familiar mechanism of an advice column—with a twist—using distinct bodies of work to explore questions of love, pride, fear, and autonomy as a form of allyship and emotional community-building.
The tradition of an advice column evokes a particular type of desperation, namely to resolve a problem with the guidance of an objective, verified advice-giver. The questions posed in these columns range from the practical to the existential— laundering, gardening, housekeeping, conflict, loneliness, and self-esteem. Is it possible to get blood out of white fabric? How can I improve my relationship with my mother? What should I say to my awful neighbor the next time she says my shoes are ugly? How do I combat the persistent, existential dread coursing through my veins?
Asking For a Friend celebrates the ways in which women take care of one another, explicitly pushing past the woes of a blossoming generation to be inclusive of trans-generational perspectives and experiences. The exhibition functions as a space wherein one can navigate personal and communal hardships: how to grieve; celebrate small victories; find courage; get rich; start over; accept reality; dream.
At the same time, however, this exhibition is a lament for the cultural shift away—not from advice columns in essence, but from communal wisdom toward hyper-independence, isolating entire networks of women from community-oriented practices. Columns of the past featured tips to better one’s housekeeping, sex life, or beauty, and were, admittedly, sometimes perpetuating harmful, gendered cultural attitudes. Nonetheless, the idea of an advice column speaks to an intellectual and spiritual bond between women, especially between women in different stages of life; these relationships do exist for most women, and are often confined to the familial sphere.
Through garments, conceptual textile sculpture, object assemblages, and collaging, this exhibition takes root in a need for considerate and compassionate pathways toward learning. Asking For a Friend invites visitors to step away from doomscrolling, internet rabbit holes, and internal monologues of quiet panic to find sanctuary in shared experience—within communities, within art spaces, and within one another.
-Statement written by Curator Maria Gabriela Di Giammarco
Follow along for our latest artist Q&A as the vibrant group behind Asking for a Friend, share their thoughts on defining purpose, navigating fear, sustaining creative momentum, and what it truly means to live, and make art, as a woman.
-Statement written by Curator Maria Gabriela Di Giammarco
Follow along for our latest artist Q&A as the vibrant group behind Asking for a Friend, share their thoughts on defining purpose, navigating fear, sustaining creative momentum, and what it truly means to live, and make art, as a woman.
To those who have made art their one and only: What advice would you give to a young girl dreaming of doing the same?
Heidi Hankaniemi: Try all things, be curious about learning new things. Do things well and with integrity. The more knowledge you have the more confident you'll be. If you make good things there will be a demand for them.
All money regular/real jobs I've had have somehow been in the creative fields; Museum attendant, stylist, teaching, kid's crafts, etc. I think that's been very important for me - have learnt so much about other artistic expressions and connected with similar, but different, groups of people.
Joan Wheeler: Don’t give up. Explore your passion and pursue it with all you’ve got. And if you need to work a day job still keep at your art. Take classes and learn what you can. The rest will come with time and hard work.
Lydia Viscardi: Unless you have the luxury of someone funding your art career so that you don’t need to worry about finances, It is important to have a job to “float your artist boat.” Figure out what compliments your artistic life so that you have enough time, resources, psychic and physical energy and space to make art. Some artists choose careers that are unrelated to the arts. For me, commercial art was a way I could support myself. I learned a lot as an illustrator, interior designer, doing store display and store planning, and sculpting and painting for theater, TV and film. I was able to apply what I learned to my own artwork. Later, teaching especially at the college level worked pretty well. I never made a lot of money, and except for when my children were little, I have kept my artistic life alive.
It is important to realize that it isn’t easy to work full time and make art. It requires commitment and discipline.
Silvana Soriano: Don't be apologetic, be honest with your own work, don't try to please others. Find ways to sustain your practice,without depending only on sales.
Installation shot from Asking For a Friend. Pictured: Museum of Seasons (2023), by Lydia Viscardi.
How do you define your purpose, and how do you know if you’ve found it?
HH: I think in general one's purpose "should be" to improve this world, in whatever individual ways that we have strengths in ... To bring joy/ company/ communication/ cooking on a smaller scale with family & friends, or on a larger scale; expertise, knowledge in the community, politics etc. I myself have always been concerned with bringing small glimpses of beauty / poetry into our surroundings. Not sure if Prettifying the World is a valid purpose but it does feel very meaningful when I see that my work resonates with people and makes them notice more beauty around them.
JW: I’ve always had a purpose- to make things. With my children I watched them and listened to them and saw where their interest lay and always encouraged them to act on it- learn more and become educated in that area. Today they do work they enjoy and are very successful.
LV: Oh dear. My purpose! I heard an interview of the author, Zadie Smith. She speaks about emotional life of her characters, and one that resonates with her personally is regret. The interviewer and Smith agreed that in America, regret is a dirty word. We are supposed to be forward thinkers. When asked about one big regret for her, she said that she regrets spending so much time writing! I was stunned. She said she sees how isolating it is, not being connected to the community – I am paraphrasing here. She said she now spends more time doing community service, and how happy she is doing this.
I do find purpose in my artmaking. I feel I have something to say that is meaningful to others. I see making art as both a privilege and a selfish way to spend my time. I decline social invitations sometimes, because I am so involved in my work. Objectively, outside of the artworld, it must seem a bit whacky to spend day after day, holed up in a studio, making things. If I am on Instagram, I come away with feelings of pressure for my artwork to be seen and recognized – more/bigger/better.
Ultimately, I want balance in my life – time with friends, family, time in the natural world along with time alone making art. In my perfect Lydia world, someone else would be handling the marketing aspect and that would give me more time to do all the other things that are meaningful.
SS: I have a mix of feelings and purpose. I recognize the values that are important to me, and I try to learn, a lot and always. I try to understand myself more, this way I believe I will be fulfilling a better purpose here on earth.If you look back you will certainly make connections between things in your life that were seemingly unrelated but that together made you who you are.
Lydia Viscardi: Bog Turtles Are Cool, 2023. Mixed media; Ink and Acrylic on Framed Vintage Print with found Hand-Crafted Textiles, Fabric and Metal. 22 1/2 × 20 1/2 × 1 1/2 in. Tiger Beetles Eat Flies, 2023. Mixed Media; Ink and Acrylic on Framed Vintage Print with found Hand-Crafted Textiles, Fabric, Found Beadwork, Collage and Metal. 23 × 21 × 1 1/2 in. Available via Artsy.Do you feel like you have to create art and have it ready for future exhibits? or do you work better with a specific call for proposal?
HH: I do both, I always have personal things on the go but am much more efficient when working with a proposal in mind. I really like a challenge, it's exciting to do something out of my "box." I approach commissions in a different way- I'm more structured and mindful of their wishes rather than experimenting with my own ideas.
JW: I try to work steadily but I do love proposals and deadlines to spur me on!
LV: I make art that I am compelled to make. Sometimes, I make art that is for a particular exhibit but the work I make is part of an ongoing series or one that is still of interest. If I make work for a “call for art” it is always a theme that dovetails with themes that are of interest to me.
SS: I work. Period! I love proposals because it encourages me to investigate things that sometimes weren't even in my universe of thoughts, and this encourages me. But I'm in a constant process of creation.
Installation shot from On The Other Side. Pictured left to right: Bonnet (2016), With Supreme Irony (2016), by Heidi Hankaniemi. Museum of Seasons (2022), and Eastern Spadefoot Falling Back (2023), by Lydia Viscardi.
How can we foster opportunity for rising stars above 40?
HH: Offer exhibition opportunities, how about a Wise Women exhibition?!
JW: By championing their art and lives and never being ageist in our actions or words.
LV: I am not sure who the “we” is here. I don’t advocate for “stardom.” For me, I say make the best work you can. Don’t hold back. Be true to your authentic self. I think this is truer than ever as we age. A part of me still believes, “if you build it, they will come”, a line from the film, “Field of Dreams.” I recognize that this is unlikely, but a nice dream nevertheless. I like the quote from Mary Oliver’s Poem, “Summer Days,” “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
SS: Don't limit yourself to age, even if you decide to start running at 50, find a way, age can't be a barrier.
Installation shot from On The Other Side. Pictured left to right: Please Follow Me This Way (2016), With Supreme Irony (2016), Bloom Green (2018) and The Hug (2025), by Heidi Hankaniemi.
How can we balance fear and courage?
HH: I think they're both needed - being courageous helps you through what you fear. A healthy fear/ common sense/ gut feeling can also be good and should be listened to and considered before courageously approaching a situation.
LV: It takes courage to reach beyond your comfort zone, to overcome the risk of failure. I have found that taking risks is a way to learn new things and potentially learn something new about who I am and what matters to me. That period of being a bit in the dark about what I am making is part of the process. It is comfortable to know how something will turn out but the unknown is way more exhilarating despite its precarious nature. I trust the process.
SS: Face it, rationalizing while trusting the unknown.
Heidi Hankaniemi: Bloom Green, 2018. Vintage handiworks and industrial felt. 20 × 28 in. Available via Artsy.
Heidi Hankaniemi: Bloom Green, 2018. Vintage handiworks and industrial felt. 20 × 28 in. Available via Artsy.
How do you take care of yourself?
HH: I make sure to have my morning routine : a few Qi Gong moves, coffee and the news. As a Finn the sauna is very important to me -there's a good one at the local gym so that's absolutely amazing, I can sauna every day if I want to.
JW: My answer to everything is work harder but it is important to set aside time for self-care
LV: I am very fortunate to have my own studio. Making art is immensely gratifying, an itch I need to scratch that helps me know myself and figure out what matters to me. When I am away from the studio for too long, I begin to feel like I am floundering. Making art keeps me grounded so it is a way to care for myself.
SS: Love, laughter, health and family – these are all important. I need physical
exercise which these days is often in the form of swimming, hiking and weather permitting, cross-country skiing. I have five grandchildren, and I try to spend time with them as I am keenly aware of how fast they grow up. Like many women, I am supported through female friendships. I like to travel and experience cultures that are different from my own. I love to read. I limit social media.
Installation shot from Asking For a Friend: Pictured left to right: Laudry Day Chore Coat (2025) and Mom Chore Coat (2025) by Joan Wheeler. Available via Artsy.
How do you make, or help yourself get out of a rut?
HH: Simple things; I take a nap, try to remind myself of that everything has a purpose, try to be kind to myself. I call a friend, I'm lucky to have many wise friends.
LV: I am never bored. There are always more things to do, to read, to learn than hours in the day. I have more ideas than time, so I don’t get into ruts as much as things go awry, often in bunches. I like to experiment with new materials, but I dislike making samples so my creative impulses can get ahead of my technical skills. William Shakespeare writes in Hamlet “When sorrows come, they come not single spies. But in battalions!” Lucky for me, I know from experience, “this too shall pass.”
JW: I get out of a rut by doing research to see what lies behind those choices.SS: Stopping to contemplate.
Detail shot from Asking For a Friend. Joan Wheeler: Laundry Day Chore Coat, 2025. Vintage Materials, Including A Bedspread, Quilts, An Apron, Laundry Bags, Dresser Scarf, Hot Pads, Crochet Doll Clothes, Tea Towels, Days of the Week Kitchen Towels, Clothespins. 50 × 36 in. Available via Artsy.
How come it is so difficult to change?
HH: It usually feels safe to have the same routine, even if it might be unhealthy for us...?!JW: The longer a behavior is repeated the more difficult it becomes to change it.
LV: Change is the opposite of staying in one’s comfort zone. A professor I had a long time ago described pursuing a certain idea in art making as exploring a mine. You go down a vein extracting all that it offers and when you reach the end, you go down a different vein. Some artists seem to stay in one vein - they change little. I find change exciting and potentially fruitful. I don’t know how many veins I will explore. I am in one now and I think I will be for a bit more. I just keep digging.
SS: Because we are very attached to have control. As soon you realize that you don't have it, you turn to be more flexible.
Installation shot from Asking For a Friend: Pictured left to right:Julia (2025) and Laura (2025) by Silvana Soriano. Available via Artsy.
How do I better my relationship with time?
HH: Set your bedside clock to approx 12 mins ahead.JW: I’m a workaholic so I’m not a good judge of that!
LV: This is the balance issue again as I described in question five about purpose. I am always aware of needing to find balance. It’s a balancing act, eh?
SS: I guess prioritizing the things that are fundamental to you.
Installation shot from Asking For a Friend: Pictured left to right: I Am Tired to Wait (2024) , I Don't Give a Shit (2024) and Clarice (2025) by Silvana Soriano. Available via Artsy.
When do you stop giving people the benefit of the doubt?
HH: After too long, perhaps. I rarely get angry but I don't forget, especially if someone directly lies to me!
JW: In business when they do not respond to emails and phone calls. In personal relationships when they take more than they give.
LV: I don’t know that one should stop. I personally distance myself from someone I don’t trust. I guess that means I am done giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
SS: It depends but for people that I love I tend to expand as much as I can. For others if I feel that the energy is not good, I just close myself off and I won't change anymore.
Silvana Soriano: Flora, 2025. Collage on canvas; paper. 48 × 36 in. Available via Artsy.
As a woman, what has made you feel the most fulfilled throughout your lives? Has it been the same since you were a child, or does it really change so much as we grow?
HH: I think in general one's purpose "should be" to improve this world, in whatever individual ways that we have strengths in ... To bring joy/ company/ communication/ cooking on a smaller scale with family & friends, or on a larger scale; expertise, knowledge in the community, politics etc. I myself have always been concerned with bringing small glimpses of beauty / poetry into our surroundings. Not sure if Prettifying the World is a valid purpose but it does feel very meaningful when I see that my work resonates with people and makes them notice more beauty around them.
JW: Ever since I was a child I loved to make things and read. I’m still exactly the same
LV: When I was a younger woman, I was adrift and had low self-esteem. Motherhood anchored me and gave me purpose. I poured my creativity into my family life. Later, making art became an essential and integral part of coming to know who I am. It is a core part of my identity. It helps me to know myself and get to feelings that are otherwise buried deep within.
I worked at commercial art jobs for many years when I was younger and later
teaching, and I didn’t devote time to making my own work until I was in my 40’s. I identify with being an artist more than being a “woman artist.” What has changed is letting go of my insecurity about the value of my work. I trust my instincts and feel free to fully embrace what I want to make. This comes from many years of working at a day job which released me from making work for a market. This is not to say I wouldn’t be very pleased to sell work.
SS: Becoming a mother has been the greatest achievement. Combining the creative act with giving is revolutionary. Nothing epic, but very powerful. Throughout my life I think I have learned to let go of burdens, guilt and fears, so in my maturity I think I am living a very good time.
Artist-Specific Questions:
Lydia Viscardi: Museum of Seasons, 2022. Acrylic and Collage on Canvas Including Paper, Fabric, Sequined Fabric, Found Needlepoint, Beaded Textile Remnants, and Vintage Embroidered Textile. 81 1/2 in diameter. Available via Artsy.
Lydia, for Museum of Seasons, did you have any Tibetan influence?
LV: Not specifically although learning about the tenets of Buddhism, mindfulness and meditation has brought me closer to being a more observant, tolerant and patient person. That ultimately led me to make work that is about time passing, memory and mortality.
Silvana, How have you healed from painful experiences in life? or how are you healing?
SS: How have you healed from painful experiences in life? or how are you healing? Accept. Accept disappointment in others and in yourself. It is not easy but it is necessary, as well as not judging, accepting this on a higher level of being, in a space of greater freedom.
Silvana Soriano: I Don't Give a Shit, 2024. Drypoint on paper. 24 × 18 in. Available via Artsy.
Silvana Soriano: I Don't Give a Shit, 2024. Drypoint on paper. 24 × 18 in. Available via Artsy.
Silvana, Who is the figure with the horns in the background of your piece "I Don't Give a Shit"?
SS: Who is the figure with the horns in the background of your piece "I Don't Give a Shit"? It wasn't exactly intentional, but it was certainly unconscious, but the idea is to have that background figure as if evaluating the character and she gives a shit for it.
